| | By lookin' back, there's nth else but only REGRET -
regret my every stupid decision,
regret the very poor self-restriction,
regret that I letted many precious chances slipped away rite in front of my face without catchin' them at all,
regret that I was doin' nth while time flies like flash,
regret not being loyal to ppl who love me a lot - I lied, I ignored, I betrayed them - I was just a horrible selfish bitch,
regret that I wasn't focused enough and being distracted by hell lotta
tiny silly things ppl dun even think it's anything big BUT the stupid
little me considered myself workin' on sth extraodinary,
regret being... irresponsible......
So far for my 21 yrs of life, I had been livin' like a pile of shit...
I never knew wat I really wanna be,
I blamed the others treatin' me as if I were Ms Cellophane
I didn't truly trust any1,
I thought every1 is better than me no matter wat - IQ, EQ, personality, etc..
I SIMPLY HATE MYSELF...
and tonite, while I was sitting in front of the TV finished eatin'
orange and waitin' my mum to fetch the empty plate to the kitchen......
All of a sudden I felt like a retarded living like rubbish...
Human beings live in community,
every act we take and every word we say - these r wat we hv to be responsible for...
and so as the ppl around us and our own selves, that we hv to take the
responsibility - the obligation to feel gd abt ourselves, and the
obligation to make our loved 1s proud.
It's time for another change, it's time to put an end to the past that shouldn't be looked back...
It's time to be a responsible person - I made myself like a disaster and I'm gonna free myself from it...
I'm still young with plenty of time available -
enough for me to correct the wrong, and start over a brand new page.
The curiousity makes me wonder how far that I can go,
and how much that I've inherited from my brillant dad and mum, and from the carin' and education of my beloved Dr. Dad...
I wanna be as gd as them...
...yea... just like them........... :)
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| | Posted 2/4/2006 1:38 AM - 1 View - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
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